The "Stay Interview" for Families: A Proactive Principal's Strategy

As school leaders, we spend considerable time on exit interviews. When a family packs up and leaves for another school, or worse, moves out of the local area without ever having felt truly connected, we scramble to figure out why they left. We look backward, trying to fix problems that, by that point, are often too late to resolve.

But what if we flipped the script? What if we dedicated the same strategic energy to understanding and nurturing the families who choose to stay?

Welcome to the concept of the "Stay Interview" for Families, a powerful, proactive strategy that provides your school with the most valuable feedback you will ever receive.

 

Why Focus on the "Stay"?

The Stay Interview moves a school from a reactive mindset to a strategic one. It allows you to:

1. Identify and Amplify Strengths: Discover the hidden, unwritten reasons parents genuinely love your school. These are your gold-star marketing points and the aspects you must protect and amplify.
2. Uncover "Pebbles in the Shoe": Identify small, fixable irritations (the "pebbles in the shoe") before they become major reasons for a family to look elsewhere. These are issues that, while minor on their own, erode goodwill over time.
3. Build Relational Capital: When a principal calls a family just to listen and gather feedback, it creates an immediate, deep connection and communicates that their voice truly matters.

 

The Principal’s Playbook: Implementing the Stay Interview

This process should be purposeful, confidential and sustained. It is not a whole-school survey; it is targeted, high-quality, one-on-one listening.

 

1. Select Your Interview Pool (10–15 Families per Term)

The selection process is key. You need a diverse, representative snapshot of your school community. Target families that fit a mix of criteria:

• Long-Term Loyalists: Families who have been with the school for five or more years.
• Newer Families: Those who joined in the last 12–18 months.
• Diverse Demographics: Include families from various cultural backgrounds, socioeconomic levels and with students across different year levels.
• The "Quiet Achievers": Those who don't often complain but also don't volunteer much. Their silent satisfaction (or silent issues) is crucial to uncover.

 

2. The Core Questions: Simple, Open and Powerful

Keep the interview brief (aim for 15–20 minutes) and the questions open-ended. Send the questions to the family ahead of time so they can prepare.

The Anchor Question (Identifying Strengths)	The Pivot Question (Identifying Friction)
"What do you genuinely love about our school that keeps you enrolling your children here year after year?"	"What's one 'pebble in your shoe'—a small frustration or something you wish we could fix—that you haven't had a chance to mention?"
Follow-up: Which teacher or program made the biggest difference for your child this year?	Follow-up: If you were the Principal for a day, what's one thing you would change tomorrow?

 

3. Execution: Listen, Document and Act

The interview is 90% listening. Avoid becoming defensive or immediately offering solutions. Your role is solely to gather intelligence.

• Document Everything: Immediately record the key themes and direct quotes. Use a notebook or a confidential digital file (e.g., "Stay Interview Notes").
• Offer a Genuine "Thank You": End the interview by thanking them for their honesty and assuring them that their feedback is invaluable to the school's growth.
• Close the Loop (Selectively): While you shouldn't promise to fix everything, make sure you act on the feedback. If the issue is a simple fix (e.g., clearer signage), fix it and email the family later to say, "Thanks to your feedback, we've implemented the change." This shows their voice resulted in action.

 

The Payoff: Beyond Retention

The real value of the Stay Interview extends far beyond just keeping your current enrolments.

• Early Warning System: You'll hear about issues brewing before they become public complaints or complaints to the governing body.
• Data-Driven Leadership: You move away from anecdote and rumour, grounding your strategic plan in authentic, current stakeholder feedback. If five different families mention how much they value the school's pastoral care program, you know exactly where to invest your resources and celebration efforts.
• Teacher Morale: By hearing which teachers and programs are genuinely making a difference, you gain specific, powerful evidence to celebrate and retain your top staff.

In the Australian education landscape, where competition and community perception are increasingly vital, the Stay Interview is not a luxury—it is a non-negotiable tool for proactive leadership and sustained success. Stop wondering why they leave and start celebrating and strengthening the reasons they stay.

 

Sources

The "Stay Interview" concept is borrowed directly from Human Resources (HR) and has been successfully adapted for educational leadership and community engagement:

• HR Best Practices (General Concept): The concept was popularised in the corporate world by authors like Beverly Kaye, who adapted the traditional exit interview to focus on current, valuable employees to enhance retention. This principle translates directly to retaining valuable families in a school setting.
• Mendler, A. N. (2012). Discipline with Dignity: How to Handbook. Advocates for a philosophy of dignity and respect in all interactions, which the act of proactively seeking feedback from families models perfectly.
• Epstein, J. L. (2018). School, Family and Community Partnerships: Your Handbook for Action (4th ed.). Highlights the importance of communication and decision-making as two of the six types of family involvement. The Stay Interview is a powerful tool for gathering honest input for decision-making.
• The Australian Institute for Teaching and School Leadership (AITSL) Standards: These standards require school leaders to engage with the community to inform school improvement and planning, making the Stay Interview a practical way to gather evidence for this requirement.